V/H/S/Beyond

This SHUDDER ORIGINAL release is now available on Blu-ray and it is the seventh instalment in the V/H/S franchise, thus something must be hugely popular about the franchise to warrant one instalment after another. Unfortunately – judging from this latest addition – it’s somehow hard to see why it has been hailed as such a success.

Yaaaawn, not another ‘found footage’ addition to the ever-increasing found footage horror flicks I hear you say though to be fair, the five individual stories in this anthology aren’t bad at all. Plus, there is a frame story, which sort of ties the other five stories together, if only thematically.
Serious flaw lies within the amateurish acting (who are these people, did they ever act before?) and the often irritating and jumpy camera movements. Ok, so this comes with the territory (‘The Blair Witch Project’ got the ball rolling on that one… thanks a bunch…not!) but then there’s also the quite frankly dumb dialogue, practically peppered with the ‘F’ word in every other sentence (in some cases multiple times) and all sorts of other American slang-talk (“Dude, what’s up? What the f**k?”), which lacks utter originality and makes everyone come across a pretty dumb. Dudes, don’t ya know how to use halfway intelligent dialogue when writing a script?

The frame story was written and directed by Canadian filmmaker and podcaster Jay Cheel and concerns two videotapes, which were purchased by an anonymous ‘Redditor’ at a flea market. For those not in the know, a ‘Redditor’ is a user of social media platform Reddit. Hmmm… what could those tapes contain? Another mysterious witchcraft case? Another sighting of Bigfoot? Or new evidence that aliens might exist? Bingo! For Jay Cheel receives an odd email which contains the footage of said video tapes in digitized form and yep, the footage displays an alien encounter – apparently. We are then introduced to the ‘Farrington House’ in Canada - a house that is surrounded by urban legend. Which brings us to Mitch Horowitz (played by US-author, publisher, TV-host etc etc Mitch Horowitz) who, back in the 2000’s, led a paranormal group and well, watch what he has to say.

After this brief prologue sequence, the first story titled ‘Stork’ (written by Jordan Downey and also directed by him, plus Kevin Stewart) kicks into action. And there’s plenty of it! After a string of babies go missing, local police unit W.A.R.D.E.N. receive a tip-off of sorts and the search brings them to a dilapidated, multi-storey house, where they just witness a strange creature vanishing into it before the unit enter themselves. A rookie cop accompanying them is entrusted with filming the entire mission (should they discover anything of interest of course) while another police member, E.T. (Vas Provotakis) turns out to be the dad of one of the missing infants. Soon, what started as a routine search operation descends into complete mayhem thanks to several zombie-like creatures, dubbed ‘Brooders’ – attacking the unit and when a baby is found, it doesn’t look completely human, well, not anymore. However, nothing could have prepared the increasingly panic-stricken police force for what they discover on the second floor, namely a meteor which crashed through the building’s roof-top and lies now cracked open. Still, it’s nothing compared to what the police (those who are still alive or haven’t turned it may be added) discover on the third floor: a large alien bird resembling a stork (and a bit of steampunk) which isn’t friendly at all… Be prepared! Be very prepared for some serious gore in this first offering, which has some great ideas and special effects but is dampened by a police unit which doesn’t come across as entirely professional. Here’s a tip: if you slaughter zombies and aliens, maybe wear a mask, or at least something to protect your face from spluttering alien blood. Protective gear is something any police force should always use during a mission – zombies, aliens or whatever. Otherwise, it’s a clever spin on the usual zombie/alien numbers and would, in fact, work really well as a video game!

We then return to the frame story and learn about a family of Chinese immigrants who arrived in Toronto during the 1950s and purchased the Farringdon House. One of the family members, namely the eldest son, may hold the clue to the building’s strange activities.

Next up is ‘Dream Girl’ (written by Virat Pal and also directed by him, plus Evan Dickson) and here we are transported to Mumbai in India, where local paparazzi Arnab (Sayandeep Sangupta) and Sonu (Rohan Joshi) are commissioned with practically stalking Tara (Namratha Sheth), the latest Bollywood sensation everyone is crazy about. Instead of heading straight for Tara’s trailer, Sonu insists on wanting to see the set first (cue for some Bollywood-style dance routines). However, the session is cut short when Tara’s manager blows up in the face of the video director, accusing him of zapping Tara’s energy due to the many takes the director demands. Meanwhile, Arnab successfully manages to hide inside Tara’s trailer and witnesses an unpleasant conversation between her and her manager, before being discovered by Tara after her manager has left. Feeling pity for her, Arnab suggests that Tara can do so much better than being ordered around by film directors and management alike and she agrees… only to rip her face off seconds later and reveal herself as an android. Be prepared! Be very prepared for some serious gore in this second offering, which also has some great ideas (plus additional dialogue in Hindi) but is dampened by a complete lack of explanation as to how an android became Tara, a Bollywood dancer.

‘Live and Let Dive’ is written by Justin Martinez and also directed by him, plus Ben Turner) and kudos to the directors for a witty title. This one is really creepy and concerns a guy (or dude, rather) called Zach (Bobby Slaski), who, together with his wife Jess (Hannah McBride) and some other dudes and dudettes (‘mates’ in plain English) celebrates his 30th birthday. That said, they aren’t celebrating Zach’s big day in a pizzeria or McDonalds but in a small chartered plane, with the aim of skydiving. As they goof about and generally behave like silly teenagers, they experience a sudden bump against the plane, just as they are about to jump. Looking out of the small window, they spot a UFO before a massive alien hand can be seen, indicating that the alien is on top of the plane. Seconds later, the UFO collides with the small passenger plane, resulting in the birthday party plummeting to the ground. As if this wasn’t horror enough, the real horror is about to unfold amidst an orange grove – with the few badly injured survivors of the birthday party finding themselves under attack from a particularly nasty alien. Be prepared! Be very prepared for deeply disturbing scenes in this third offering, which, just like the first and second story, has some great ideas and impressive special effects but once again is dampened by a lack of explanation, i.e. where did the UFO come from? Was this just a one-off attack or the beginning of a mass attack and so on.

Fourth story ‘Fur Babies’ (written and directed by Christian and Justin Long) is not only completely bonkers in its concept but it stands out as the one story which is not about aliens. Here, the premise revolves around an animal rights activist group who send two of their members undercover to investigate a woman named Becky (Libby Letlow), who supposedly runs a dog day-care centre. Nothing dodgy about that of course, but the animal activists grow suspicious when, during a TV-ad for the doggie day-care centre, they spot two taxidermie dogs on Becky’s mantelpiece. Now, Angela (Braedyn Bruner) and Stuart (Matthew Layton), pooch in tow, are sent to Becky’s house - pretending to be interested in the prices of her day-care centre and what it has to offer. Well, everyone is familiar with the old adage “Curiosity killed the cat” but what Angela and Stuart discover transfers the adage onto humans. Frankenstein, anyone? The gore factor is surprisingly mild here but the lack of it is compensated by an insane script with performances to match. Woof, woof!

Final story ‘Stowaway’ (written by Mike Flanagan and directed by actress and writer Kate Siegel) concerns a young woman called Halley (video game writer Alanah Pearce) who, having left her husband and child behind, heads off to the Mojave Desert all on her own in order have a possible encounter of the third kind. Sure enough, at night she actually discovers an alien spaceship and records her finding (in fact, Halley records everything and speaks way too fast in the process). Entering the alien spacecraft, she cuts herself, only for tiny nanite molecules coming out of her, which have an instant healing effect. Ok, the nanites may heal her at first but as she soon discovers, they also cause minor mutations, which soon morph into more severe mutations. Then, the spaceship takes off… That’s when the footage ends but how was it actually found? It’s quite grim this, but not as grim and unsettling as the epilogue scene which once more takes us back to Toronto and the Farringdon House…

V/H/S/BEYOND is definitely not perfect but the special effects and alien creatures redeem a film with obvious budget restrictions. Perfect for those evenings when one returns hammered from a night out in the boozer!

Bonus features include: Pre-visuals on ‘Live and Let Dive’ / Libby Letlow ‘Fur Babies’ Audition Tape / Do you want a Selfie: the Making of… ‘Dream Girl’ / Behind the Scenes of ‘Stork’ with IGN / ‘Stowaway’ Timelapse.